Throughout this year I have been exploring the tension between what I present to the world and the emotions that lie underneath. The exterior Laura is calm, happy and driven to please others, while the interior Laura suppresses anger, pain and sadness. Through my work I attempt to confront the viewer with these repressed emotions and demonstrate the frustration and ultimate futility of constantly trying to reflect back the expectations of others. I hope this thesis will shed light on experiences of femininity and progress across generations, of Depression and recovery, and how we are shaped by conscious and unconscious demons. I want to make the invisible, visible and give voice to the emotions I spent so many years silencing.
I dedicate this senior thesis to my grandmother. To my grandmother who grew up in a world where negative emotions were never to be discussed. To my grandmother who taught me to repress and say “I am fine,” regardless of the pain. To my grandmother who I once resented but now understand and love. Mom-mom, this is for you.